1 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,560 Synced and corrected by someone who doesn't care about credits 2 00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:09,380 Nah. 3 00:01:10,590 --> 00:01:13,260 Don't get up. I'm all good, thanks. 4 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,350 Yo. 5 00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:19,060 All right, all right. Arms and the Man by Bernard Shaw. 6 00:01:19,140 --> 00:01:20,350 You read that one before? 7 00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:21,430 Mmm-mmm. 8 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:27,270 After a horrifying sawing accident leaves him armless, 9 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:31,360 the man sets out on a journey of self-discovery, 10 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:35,620 realizing that legs can do everything that arms can! 11 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,740 Is this what you do all day? 12 00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:40,700 Well, I mean, I got a nap scheduled later, too. 13 00:01:40,790 --> 00:01:43,250 It probably means "arms" as in "weapons." 14 00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:44,620 Oh. 15 00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:46,710 Yo, it could be both. You know? 16 00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:48,800 Like, dude ain't got no arms, 17 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,210 he gotta figure out how to hold his weapon with his feet. 18 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:53,430 Like, "Freeze, bitch!" 19 00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:55,890 Ain't you got anything better to do with yourself? 20 00:01:57,470 --> 00:02:00,220 Did you not hear about that nap situation? 21 00:02:00,310 --> 00:02:06,060 Man, you fuckin' lucky 'cause maintenance sucks, yo. 22 00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:11,650 You should see what piles up in the corners of the showers. 23 00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:15,530 Little pube-tropolis of buildings and shit 24 00:02:15,610 --> 00:02:19,280 for spiders and bacteria living their lives, growing... 25 00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:20,790 Well, see, you went urban, right? 26 00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:25,420 I would've said a hair jungle, right? Spiders be jumpin' from pube to pube. 27 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:29,790 Bacteria's all like, "Fuck. It rains a lot in here. Get off me." 28 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,420 Did you hear about the new job crew? 29 00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:35,180 Supposed to pay a buck an hour. 30 00:02:35,260 --> 00:02:36,800 A buck an hour? 31 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,260 Shit, whatever that is, it's probably way worse than pube town. 32 00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:41,060 Oh, it's a pube town now? 33 00:02:41,140 --> 00:02:44,520 Man, this place ain't fool you enough with that job fair bullshit? 34 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,190 Um, excuse me, pause. 35 00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:53,530 I got two Cherry Pepsis off of that mug, plus, bragging rights. 36 00:02:53,610 --> 00:02:58,110 Yo, fuck that, man. My job is the shit, you know? 37 00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:01,530 I mean, worth way more than buck an hour. 38 00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:04,580 You cannot put a price on Entspannung. 39 00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:06,160 That's "relaxation." 40 00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:10,040 Case in point, I'ma go take me a dip in the honey jar. 41 00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:14,050 Um, it's 8:00 in the morning. You drinking already? 42 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:17,880 It's always 5:00 in prison. 43 00:03:26,430 --> 00:03:28,980 Oh... 44 00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:30,730 What the fuck? 45 00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:39,240 What's up? 46 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,410 Yo! 47 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:43,540 My honey's been jacked. 48 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:46,540 Winnie the Pooh: Tales from the Ghetto. 49 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:51,000 - Man, these were full yesterday. - Maybe some animal got to 'em. 50 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,880 You're forgetting we living with a bunch of thieves. 51 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,050 Man. 52 00:03:55,390 --> 00:03:56,480 Hey, boss? 53 00:03:57,260 --> 00:04:00,640 I still haven't heard anything from these corporate guys about our benefits. 54 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,560 And I finally got my prescriptions set up online, you know, with our old plan. 55 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,640 Had to pay my niece 50 bucks to help me figure it out. 56 00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:10,810 Please, please tell me there aren't gonna be any changes. 57 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:12,310 I haven't heard. 58 00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:16,480 C-Dorm got their new mattresses this morning. 59 00:04:16,570 --> 00:04:18,990 Plus, stall doors on all the bathrooms. 60 00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:24,700 Smoke and mirrors. I know it, and I don't trust it. 61 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:32,830 Did you two walk through the door into a paying job this morning? 62 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:34,960 Uh-huh. 63 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,170 You're welcome. 64 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,970 - Is everything all right? - I needed to cool off. 65 00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:48,100 I'm sweating in places I didn't even know that sweated. 66 00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:50,600 Well, stick an ice cube in your bra and get back to work. 67 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:53,110 I gotta get these inventory numbers to the new guys by 3:00. 68 00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:55,020 Where's Norma? I thought she was helping. 69 00:04:56,270 --> 00:04:59,490 _ 70 00:04:59,570 --> 00:05:00,820 _ 71 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,660 _ 72 00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:06,520 _ 73 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,200 I wouldn't mind handling a big hose. 74 00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:11,330 I hear they're setting up a call center. 75 00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:12,870 Uh? 76 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,670 With my sexy voice, I'll be making mad commissions. 77 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:17,800 Commissions? Right. 78 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:20,550 You get 10% of nothing on every nothing you nothing. 79 00:05:20,630 --> 00:05:24,470 Look, nobody here is applying to the new job, comprende? 80 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,760 We got a good thing going here. 81 00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:34,770 Norma! One potato, two potato! Start counting! 82 00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:36,770 And the rest of you, start slicing carrots. 83 00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:40,240 And be grateful that you're not scrubbing toilets no more. 84 00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:43,660 What you got there? 85 00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:49,000 Oh, you busting out on your own now? No? Right. 86 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,870 Go count that with the others. Vamos! 87 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,580 I need numbers! 88 00:05:55,830 --> 00:05:58,710 What if it turns out to be, like, picking up trash on the side of the road? 89 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,340 They don't pay that much for dummy work. 90 00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:04,220 Nah, whatever it is, it's gonna take skills and smarts. 91 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:05,930 Yeah, what're you gonna wow them with? 92 00:06:06,010 --> 00:06:07,510 Your eyeliner skills, 93 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,520 or your smarts about how many words rhyme with bleak in emo songs? 94 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,940 Fuck you and your stupid sad face. We didn't take your baby away, okay? 95 00:06:15,020 --> 00:06:16,730 Yeah? You should shut up about shit you don't know about. 96 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:17,900 - You should shut up, you know. - Hey! 97 00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:19,020 At least I got ambition. 98 00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:20,110 _ 99 00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:22,190 _ 100 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,490 _ 101 00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:24,570 _ 102 00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:26,360 _ 103 00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:28,620 _ 104 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,740 Whoa! 105 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,750 You, go scrub some pans. 106 00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:38,210 - What? Gross. She started this shit! - Now! 107 00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:41,960 I'm so done with this depressing-ass place. 108 00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:45,170 _ 109 00:06:45,260 --> 00:06:48,800 I just really miss you. I'm so jealous. 110 00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:51,600 Oh, baby, it's work. And it's fuckin' Kesha. 111 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,520 You're not missing anything. Seriously. 112 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:57,310 When you gonna let me sell with you? Or sell my own stuff? 113 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,770 My phone bill is, like, crazy every month. Just give me a little something. 114 00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:04,360 The kids at my school are, like, dying for it. 115 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,610 If you need money for your phone bill, I got you. 116 00:07:07,190 --> 00:07:08,820 I wanna make my own money. 117 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,370 So, I can buy you a present. 118 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,750 You're my present, baby. 119 00:07:14,370 --> 00:07:16,500 _ 120 00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:18,830 _ 121 00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:22,340 I gotta go, baby. 122 00:07:22,420 --> 00:07:24,340 - I love you. - I love you, too. 123 00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:27,130 _ 124 00:07:27,220 --> 00:07:29,090 _ 125 00:07:32,260 --> 00:07:34,020 _ 126 00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:36,770 _ 127 00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:39,810 _ 128 00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:41,440 _ 129 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:42,940 _ 130 00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:46,360 _ 131 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,490 _ 132 00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:50,200 _ 133 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,410 _ 134 00:07:52,490 --> 00:07:55,330 _ 135 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,960 _ 136 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,290 _ 137 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:04,090 _ 138 00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:06,920 This is for a wedding? It's got no back. 139 00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:11,680 It's Emma Stone's Golden Globe dress. The peach one. 140 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,100 But Mrs. Ramirez is, like, 57. 141 00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:15,890 She's still got a nice back. 142 00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:19,600 It looks really good. 143 00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:22,940 I know. I do good work. 144 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:24,860 But even if I didn't... 145 00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:28,740 I'm gonna sew a Calvin Klein label on it. 146 00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:31,610 So now you're Theresa Gonzales for Calvin Klein. 147 00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:35,330 Hey, more often than not, people believe what you tell them. 148 00:08:42,630 --> 00:08:46,880 What's all this... scuttlebutt with the new job assignment? 149 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,340 Scuttlebutt? 150 00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:52,640 The gossip, the lowdown, the 411. 151 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:53,760 Oh. 152 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,770 Someone said it was a party planning job. I stopped listening after that. 153 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,400 Electrical sucks without Nicky's running commentary. 154 00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:07,690 I wouldn't mind a new job assignment. 155 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,320 - Is my look off-putting? - Off-putting? 156 00:09:13,410 --> 00:09:17,490 Harsh, scary... not pleasing. 157 00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:29,670 There is a certain... hardness... 158 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,550 to your overall... thing. 159 00:09:35,180 --> 00:09:39,150 Listen to you, being frank and honest. Good. 160 00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:42,140 Now, tell me how to soften things. 161 00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:44,620 I thought that you and Dmitri were kaput. 162 00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:46,790 That was not an invitation to pry into my life. 163 00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:49,610 A little beauty advice is all I'm after. 164 00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:52,280 Beauty comes from the inside. 165 00:09:52,540 --> 00:09:53,410 Hmm. 166 00:09:53,990 --> 00:09:59,450 However... smudging the corner of your eyeliner, 167 00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:02,460 not spiking your hair, 168 00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:06,330 and a lighter lip couldn't hurt. 169 00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:07,630 Um... 170 00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:08,880 Ha! 171 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,140 Hey, Pearson. 172 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,890 Morning. You know, Danny's fine. 173 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:29,570 Oh, well, we mostly use last names around here. 174 00:10:29,650 --> 00:10:32,570 Cool, cool. Yeah, whatever you think makes sense. 175 00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:36,950 You need to go? 176 00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:39,740 Oh, no. No, uh... 177 00:10:39,830 --> 00:10:41,660 I just... I had... 178 00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,660 My hands... I had to wash my hands. 179 00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:46,830 Sometimes I need to count five metal objects before I can pee. 180 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:47,920 Huh? 181 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,380 Door hinge, door hinge, flusher, tap, faucet. 182 00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:53,210 Got this place wired. After you. 183 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:54,840 Oh. 184 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:55,930 Sure. 185 00:10:59,220 --> 00:11:02,770 So you guys fired the warden. That was a surprise. 186 00:11:02,850 --> 00:11:06,480 Yeah. Well, we absorbed the position. Whatever that means. 187 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:09,270 Like we had soaked him up or something, but, uh... 188 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,860 Good news for you though is, uh, you know, you're our main man on the ground. 189 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:17,450 - Everyone's been very happy so far. - Oh, great. Great. I... 190 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:23,160 I was thinking, maybe we could have a meeting, all of us, old, new. 191 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,250 - Make sure we're on the same page. - Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. 192 00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:29,790 No, I think Jones or maybe Carson is setting something like that up. 193 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:33,460 Everyone's checking their calendars. It takes forever, you know what I mean? 194 00:11:33,550 --> 00:11:35,630 Just like, everyone wants to be the alpha dog. 195 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:40,300 This time! That time! Woof! But, uh, I'll make the call on it soon. 196 00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:43,310 - You'll make the call? - Yeah. Yeah, I'll let you know. 197 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:45,390 Mr. Caputo? 198 00:11:47,180 --> 00:11:48,230 Oh! 199 00:11:48,310 --> 00:11:49,650 I made these for you. 200 00:11:49,730 --> 00:11:51,190 Look at that. 201 00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:53,150 Any word on that new job situation? 202 00:11:53,230 --> 00:11:56,030 Unconfirmed, Black. Keep moving. 203 00:11:56,110 --> 00:11:57,190 Fine. 204 00:11:57,990 --> 00:12:00,660 But I want you to know that I have a wide array of talents, 205 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:02,910 besides the criminal and papier-mâché variety. 206 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:06,330 - Oh, I am sure you do. - Good. 207 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,920 How do they, uh, know about the job? 208 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:16,820 Well, you're renovating a building out there that's been empty since the '90s. 209 00:12:17,130 --> 00:12:22,050 Any sniff in a break in the monotony, and these girls are all over it. 210 00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:26,810 In fact, that was one of the things I was hoping we could all discuss. 211 00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:29,190 You throw off the whole prison economy 212 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:33,610 when you introduce a job that's paying 10 times the going rate. 213 00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:35,650 I mean, it could get ugly. 214 00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:38,530 Yeah, I could see that. Well, we, uh... 215 00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:42,030 We have a system that I think will limit the ugliness. 216 00:12:42,110 --> 00:12:43,580 - A system? - Yeah. 217 00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:47,370 That's great. Well, maybe we can talk more about that? 218 00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:50,160 Sure, yeah. Talk right now. 219 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:51,290 Go up to my office, 220 00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,590 I could pour us a... couple big glasses of water. 221 00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:57,250 - I, um... - You have to pee, don't ya? 222 00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:58,970 Very much so. 223 00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:01,050 All right. To be continued. 224 00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:03,510 Okay, okay. 225 00:13:06,430 --> 00:13:08,310 - Oh! - Oh. 226 00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:10,560 - Hello, Red. - Hello! 227 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,850 Were you coming by to see me? 228 00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:15,190 Came in for a drink of water. It's a beautiful day. 229 00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:17,820 Is it? I was stuck inside doing paperwork. 230 00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,740 - Oh. - Who's the real prisoner? 231 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,400 Still me, I think. 232 00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:28,200 Hey. You look, I don't know... You look lighter. 233 00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:30,080 I feel lighter. 234 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,080 The new regime has fixed all the soap dispensers. 235 00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:36,090 Feels like opportunities are sprouting up all around us. 236 00:13:36,170 --> 00:13:37,380 It's funny that you say that. 237 00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:38,960 Just the other day I was talking to someone... 238 00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:40,840 Hey, Healy. I got a question for you. 239 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,550 - Reznikov, is it? - Red. 240 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,470 Berdie. Sorry to interrupt. 241 00:13:45,550 --> 00:13:48,140 Um, do you know who I can get to drill a hole in my desk? 242 00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:49,930 I wanna run my lamp and computer cords through 243 00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,600 so they're not all hanging out there, you know. 244 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:52,810 When you need something like that done, 245 00:13:52,890 --> 00:13:55,230 it needs to be cleared through Admin first. 246 00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:57,400 What? That's silly. Who's on maintenance crew? 247 00:13:58,480 --> 00:13:59,820 You're on your own with this one. 248 00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:02,070 Come on, give me a name. 249 00:14:02,150 --> 00:14:05,450 Try Portolino or Wiggins. They'll be able to help you. 250 00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:07,120 Awesome, thank you. 251 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,660 You should come visit me, Red. Check out my clean, cordless environment. 252 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,210 We'll have a cup of tea. See you later, Healy. 253 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,580 Not enjoying your new colleague, hmm? 254 00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:19,550 She's perky. I mean, who's that perky? 255 00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:23,930 I agree. Perk is for coffee. It's deplorable in people. 256 00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:26,970 You missed a button. 257 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,230 There you go. Now you're perfect. 258 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:38,480 Thank you. 259 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,650 I was just gonna go and, uh... 260 00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:48,320 get myself a perky cup of coffee in the break room. 261 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,790 Well, don't drink too much. 262 00:14:51,870 --> 00:14:54,370 Coffee can inflame the lining of the small intestine 263 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,330 and lead to irritable bowels. 264 00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:00,540 I'll keep that in mind. 265 00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:11,010 You know what some cultures do to people who steal eggs? 266 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,090 They cut their hands off. 267 00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:17,900 According to my last count, you owe me... 268 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,660 four fucking hands. 269 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,780 When I helped you out with the Vee situation, 270 00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:26,360 we had a little cross-cultural understanding. 271 00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:31,190 But I don't remember giving you permission to set up your own shop, Magic Norma. 272 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:32,910 Especially not for free. 273 00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:35,030 And especially when you don't know what the fuck you're doing. 274 00:15:35,540 --> 00:15:39,170 Santeria is some serious shit. 275 00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:41,840 You start messing around, you piss off the orishas! 276 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:45,670 Mira, I... I don't need that on me. 277 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,510 And that's why I'm gonna take back... 278 00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,560 my candle. 279 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:58,850 Oh, look. My eggs, my beads, my honey. 280 00:15:58,940 --> 00:16:01,900 This ain't... your history. 281 00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:05,400 It ain't your culture. It stops now. 282 00:16:10,610 --> 00:16:13,870 Fine, you can keep the honey, but it's for eating only. 283 00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:15,830 I see you anointing anything with this, 284 00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:18,330 it's gonna be the last sweet thing in your life. 285 00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:33,930 I don't care what Gloria says, I'm going for it. 286 00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:36,430 Gonna kill that interview like at the job fair. 287 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:37,850 But you lost job fair. 288 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:40,060 Yeah, but this time there won't be an audience, 289 00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:41,730 so they won't get all, like, PC, 290 00:16:41,810 --> 00:16:44,900 and give it to the fat mayate so she don't get all sad. 291 00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:46,530 Gloria's right, though. 292 00:16:46,610 --> 00:16:48,570 It's good all of us together. 293 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:50,860 Who knows who they'll stick in to replace you. 294 00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:53,240 What if she's mean or likes Coldplay or something? 295 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,870 It's all gelling right now. 296 00:16:54,950 --> 00:16:57,160 So, I'm supposed to put on that feo hair net 297 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,580 and scrub pots and pans every day because it's gelling? 298 00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:00,870 I'm so much better than that. 299 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,000 - You saying you're better than me? - No! 300 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:07,210 You're good, too. All I'm saying is that I got aspirations. 301 00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:09,470 I always have, even in here. 302 00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:12,220 You know, when I wear that apron in the kitchen... 303 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:14,010 I'm really wearing it ironically. 304 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,180 Wow. 305 00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:17,350 I had no idea. 306 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:22,140 So I thought, I gotta do like my mom and just knock it off. 307 00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:23,860 You can do, like, chemistry? 308 00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:26,270 Nah, nah. Not even. 309 00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:29,570 So I found, like, blotter clip art. 310 00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:31,700 I printed it out. 311 00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:33,160 I wet it a little bit. 312 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:34,870 Then, I blow dried it, 313 00:17:34,950 --> 00:17:37,490 made little squares, and I was in business. 314 00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:39,620 Selling fake designer acid. 315 00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:42,580 Brought it to the game on Friday. By halftime, sold out. 316 00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:44,330 - What? - I made some more yesterday. 317 00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:45,840 Little cherries, so cute. 318 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:49,380 And check it, bought me some flatforms! 319 00:17:49,460 --> 00:17:52,550 Oh! Those are cute. They're like flats and platforms in one? 320 00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:55,260 Wow. That's why they're called flatforms, dumb-ass. 321 00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:57,680 Yo, Marisol. 322 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,100 Hey, Arturo. Arturo's friends. 323 00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:06,110 Willy said he saw green alien guys when he was tripping on your shit. 324 00:18:06,190 --> 00:18:09,820 - They were leprechauns. - Dude, aliens sounds so much cooler. 325 00:18:09,900 --> 00:18:12,150 But they had little hats. 326 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,570 Aliens can't have little hats because of their antennas or whatever. 327 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,580 Do you think you could hook us up again? My boy Jason here wants to try it. 328 00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:22,500 Lately, he's been kind of down. 329 00:18:22,580 --> 00:18:24,670 Yeah, I could hook you up. 330 00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:28,960 But remember, it's not for escaping reality, 331 00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:31,170 it's for, like, embracing it. 332 00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:33,380 Yes, ma'am. 333 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,100 Oh, my God. It's totally working. 334 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:47,730 - People will believe what you tell 'em. - Until they don't. 335 00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:50,860 Someone's gonna come back pissed and ask for a refund, 336 00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:52,530 or punch you in the face or something. 337 00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:54,030 No, no, no, no, no. 338 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:58,240 If they come back, I say, "Hold up. What happened when you took it?" 339 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,330 And if they say, "Nothing," I say, "What is nothing? 340 00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:04,370 Because some people say there was nothing when the universe was created, 341 00:19:04,460 --> 00:19:07,870 but, like... isn't empty space still something? 342 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,920 Open your mind to the possibilities. 343 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,090 Maybe you're not doin' it right." 344 00:19:13,170 --> 00:19:16,220 And then, they come back because they feel like they didn't do it right. 345 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,430 Girl, I thought this shit through. 346 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,560 - You're such a mad genius. - Yup. 347 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:25,180 Look at you! Round and round. 348 00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:28,520 Round all around. That's nice. 349 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,070 Just get to it. Did you find him? 350 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:35,320 Daya, that fucker hobbled away into the sunset. 351 00:19:35,780 --> 00:19:40,280 I got into his house, nothing left except some shitty clothes. 352 00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:42,910 I found a mug in the sink that looked like a grenade. 353 00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:45,580 I thought that was cool. I saved that for you. 354 00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:47,160 But he's gone. 355 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:55,050 Daya, fuck that guy. You're better off. 356 00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:58,340 He had one leg. 357 00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:03,180 I mean, you go around losing body parts, 358 00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:05,560 that's some pretty irresponsible shit! 359 00:20:06,270 --> 00:20:09,980 I was such a bitch. I drove him away. 360 00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:13,610 You have a life growing inside of you. 361 00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:19,320 That makes you say and do all kinds of crazy shit that make no sense. 362 00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:24,540 But a real man knows he has to suck it up and take it for nine months. 363 00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:27,670 Maybe you get a little side action if need be. 364 00:20:28,870 --> 00:20:30,370 But you don't split. 365 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:35,550 Even your loser father stuck around till you was two. 366 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,180 The leaving is on him, that's not on you. 367 00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:43,800 So, what's gonna happen now? 368 00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:47,640 You're gonna take the baby, right? 369 00:20:48,390 --> 00:20:51,100 Uh... Whoa. 370 00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:56,820 Daya, I love you and I love your mother, but shit is real hard out here, okay? 371 00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,280 And then, your holy abuela, you know, 372 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:03,200 she hookin' up with some old dude that she met in tai chi. 373 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:05,370 Hardly ever see her anymore! 374 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,620 Christina. 375 00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:11,750 Christina got some decent mommy skills. 376 00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:14,420 Maybe she can take care of the baby for a little while. 377 00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,000 She's in junior high. 378 00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:19,190 So what? Junior high will still be there! 379 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:22,060 Plus, she's already done, what, two years? 380 00:21:22,550 --> 00:21:25,930 Yo, it's all good. It's all good. 381 00:21:27,390 --> 00:21:28,720 I actually thought he loved me. 382 00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:32,230 And he probably did, Daya. All guys love you. 383 00:21:32,310 --> 00:21:34,440 Because you're such a good girl. 384 00:21:35,860 --> 00:21:36,980 But you know what? 385 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:42,070 Sometimes love ain't stronger than débil. 386 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,950 That guy was a bitch! 387 00:21:46,030 --> 00:21:49,250 This inside me? It feels like a grenade right now. 388 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,710 And soon, it's gonna blow up and take me with it. 389 00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:58,040 It's not a mug. 390 00:22:01,010 --> 00:22:03,470 My poor baby, man. 391 00:22:05,260 --> 00:22:06,930 I'm sorry, Daya. 392 00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:11,730 If it makes you feel any better, next time I see that motherfucker, 393 00:22:11,850 --> 00:22:13,890 I'm gonna rape his ass with a broken bottle, 394 00:22:13,980 --> 00:22:17,020 and I'm gonna shoot him in the stomach so he bleeds slow. 395 00:22:17,310 --> 00:22:20,190 - That I'm gonna do for you. - Thank you. 396 00:22:21,570 --> 00:22:22,650 You're welcome. 397 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:27,240 You need to complete the test in 12 minutes. 398 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,410 Twelve minutes. 399 00:22:29,490 --> 00:22:31,250 Be honest with your answers. 400 00:22:31,330 --> 00:22:34,960 And all pencils must be returned at the end of the test. 401 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,710 If you do not return your pencils, you will be given a... 402 00:22:38,790 --> 00:22:40,300 - Present. - ...shot. 403 00:22:44,590 --> 00:22:46,430 Well, look who's here. 404 00:22:46,510 --> 00:22:47,510 _ 405 00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:50,060 _ 406 00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:52,470 _ 407 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,480 A test? 408 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:59,400 Shit, I fucking suck at taking tests! I get all itchy and anxious. 409 00:23:00,570 --> 00:23:01,980 I can't think straight. 410 00:23:02,070 --> 00:23:04,200 _ 411 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,200 Don't turn the test over till I say begin. 412 00:23:08,660 --> 00:23:12,830 Now I know they serious about this job. Written test? 413 00:23:12,910 --> 00:23:14,790 Damn! 414 00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:18,210 They probably got us building warheads or some shit all day. 415 00:23:18,290 --> 00:23:21,130 You really think they'll have felons making weapons? 416 00:23:21,210 --> 00:23:22,500 I don't know. 417 00:23:22,590 --> 00:23:25,630 I heard the new guys are military contractors. 418 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,220 - Mmm. - I'm sure they up to some evil. 419 00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:31,810 Have us making napalm or... 420 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,510 - weaponizing smallpox. - Mmm-hmm. 421 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:36,810 Well, whatever it is, 422 00:23:36,890 --> 00:23:40,110 we gonna be leaving up here with fish gills and extra fingers. 423 00:23:40,190 --> 00:23:42,150 That's not how mutation works. 424 00:23:42,230 --> 00:23:43,690 Oh, really? How's it work? 425 00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:47,030 Our babies would the ones born with the fish gills and extra fingers. 426 00:23:47,110 --> 00:23:50,410 What we'd have is a bunch of different cancers and lesions. 427 00:23:50,490 --> 00:23:51,490 Shit like that. 428 00:23:51,580 --> 00:23:55,370 Y'all so worried, don't take the test. It gives me a better chance. 429 00:23:56,580 --> 00:23:58,830 It still make 89 cents more than the warehouse. 430 00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:02,420 I got my eye on that $16 fan in commissary. 431 00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:06,050 Or you can just use your extra finger hand that you gonna have. 432 00:24:06,130 --> 00:24:09,370 All right, ladies. You may begin. 433 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,930 What the fuck? "True or false? 434 00:24:18,020 --> 00:24:20,060 Ideas are more important than real things." 435 00:24:20,150 --> 00:24:23,280 Shh! We are not supposed to discuss the questions. 436 00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:25,610 Check out question three. 437 00:24:25,690 --> 00:24:29,030 "Agree or disagree? Most people are brave." 438 00:24:29,110 --> 00:24:30,820 Now, my thoughts on bravery 439 00:24:30,910 --> 00:24:34,240 are supposed to tell them I'm a good employee, how? 440 00:24:37,750 --> 00:24:39,620 So easy. 441 00:24:42,460 --> 00:24:44,770 All right. Okay. 442 00:24:44,770 --> 00:24:48,680 "I can feel overcome with wonder in nature." 443 00:24:49,930 --> 00:24:53,480 Well, I can feel that way, but I shouldn't say that, right? 444 00:24:53,590 --> 00:24:56,350 I mean, no one wants a tree hugger working for them. 445 00:24:57,890 --> 00:25:00,850 Unless, they're one of those eco companies 446 00:25:00,940 --> 00:25:04,230 that makes, like, bamboo forks. 447 00:25:04,860 --> 00:25:05,900 What have you guys heard? 448 00:25:05,980 --> 00:25:08,400 - Shh! - Quiet, ladies! 449 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,450 Let's make a deal that if one of us gets it and the other one doesn't, 450 00:25:15,530 --> 00:25:16,990 then we don't take it. 451 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,370 Like you even need to say anything. 452 00:25:25,210 --> 00:25:29,050 "I spend most of my time trying to understand things. 453 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,800 I spend most of my time... 454 00:25:36,930 --> 00:25:40,890 trying... to understand things." 455 00:25:40,980 --> 00:25:41,980 What are they getting at? 456 00:25:42,060 --> 00:25:43,400 Will you shut up? I'm trying to concentrate. 457 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,110 "I believe people are basically moral." 458 00:25:49,990 --> 00:25:50,990 Agree. 459 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,490 - You're supposed to answer honest. - I do believe that. 460 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,280 _ 461 00:26:00,450 --> 00:26:02,460 You gotta think deeper than that. 462 00:26:03,210 --> 00:26:05,210 People wanna be good. 463 00:26:05,290 --> 00:26:07,630 - They really do, deep down. - Mmm. 464 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,050 But they just fuck up. 465 00:26:14,010 --> 00:26:16,390 I thought they were gonna, like, be interviewing us, 466 00:26:16,470 --> 00:26:18,430 not giving us some weird-ass brain test. 467 00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:20,140 Quiet, Gonzales! 468 00:26:20,220 --> 00:26:22,230 _ 469 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,280 Would you say that I "keep in the background"? 470 00:26:32,150 --> 00:26:35,360 I'm having a hard enough time figuring out these questions for myself. 471 00:26:35,450 --> 00:26:37,950 What, I gotta answer yours now, too? Please! 472 00:26:38,030 --> 00:26:39,330 Sorry. 473 00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:46,250 I'm gonna go with yes, I keep in the background. 474 00:26:46,330 --> 00:26:50,170 My mother always said that silence can be the loudest thing. 475 00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:52,760 But she never shut the fuck up. 476 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,760 Oh, Lordy, this is hard. 477 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,430 Quiet down, ladies. 478 00:26:59,850 --> 00:27:02,640 Hey! What'd you put for 15? 479 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,560 I'm blowing it. 480 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,940 See. Now I'm getting all itchy. 481 00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:11,020 - Shh! - You, shh! 482 00:27:12,150 --> 00:27:15,400 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Who can concentrate in here? 483 00:27:15,490 --> 00:27:17,820 Gonzales, you're done. 484 00:27:17,910 --> 00:27:20,490 - I didn't finish yet. - Yes, you're done. 485 00:27:20,580 --> 00:27:22,910 Hand over your test and your pencil. 486 00:27:25,750 --> 00:27:26,920 _ 487 00:27:27,710 --> 00:27:29,210 _ 488 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,800 I don't speak Spanish, so I'm going to assume you said, 489 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,290 "Have a nice day." 490 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,890 Ooh. 491 00:27:44,890 --> 00:27:46,310 Fuck you. 492 00:27:46,390 --> 00:27:48,730 Another one bites the dust. 493 00:27:51,650 --> 00:27:55,190 - Wanna help me spend some money? - What happened to saving for a car? 494 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:59,280 I think I need to invest in some more emotional clothing right now, you know, 495 00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:02,120 and worry about the car later. I need to dress for my authentic self. 496 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,540 - Mmm-hmm. - And for Ian. 497 00:28:03,620 --> 00:28:04,700 - Yo, what the fuck? - Yes. 498 00:28:04,790 --> 00:28:06,200 You see me now? 499 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,790 Because I see me. 500 00:28:08,870 --> 00:28:10,330 It's Jason, I think he's fucked up. 501 00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:11,750 I'm like a self-mirror. 502 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:13,210 _ 503 00:28:13,290 --> 00:28:15,340 I am silver and shimmery! 504 00:28:15,420 --> 00:28:17,220 Jason, you fucking idiot! 505 00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:20,890 I'm failing Math and Western Civ. 506 00:28:20,970 --> 00:28:22,720 Everybody's failing Western Civ! 507 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,140 How did he even get up there? 508 00:28:24,220 --> 00:28:25,390 Fuck it. 509 00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:26,600 Oh, no. 510 00:28:36,660 --> 00:28:40,660 You should plant some kale. I hear it's become very popular. 511 00:28:40,740 --> 00:28:43,160 The stuff that stays all day on a deli platter? 512 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,620 That's a garnish, not something to eat. 513 00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:48,330 It's supposed be loaded with vitamins. 514 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:50,940 Hey, you were right. 515 00:28:52,540 --> 00:28:53,960 Gorgeous day. 516 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:56,840 Hey there, Jones, you ol' string bean. 517 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,420 Hello. 518 00:28:58,510 --> 00:29:00,050 Speaking of string beans, 519 00:29:00,130 --> 00:29:03,390 Jones has some requests for the vegetable garden. 520 00:29:03,470 --> 00:29:06,640 Now don't go getting any funny ideas with me now, you old burner. 521 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,690 I do know what a wacky tabacky leaf looks like. 522 00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:14,650 - Excuse me, I have somewhere nicer to be. - Ohhh... 523 00:29:14,730 --> 00:29:17,780 Oh, no. Stay. Have a little more fun with us. 524 00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:21,610 - Sit. - Such fun. 525 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,120 Yeah, I was at a hippie music festival once. 526 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,160 Must have been, like, 10 or so. 527 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,410 Mother was away and my older brother was in charge of me. 528 00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:33,880 His buddies and I, we hitchhiked there. 529 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:35,880 Healy, such a rebel. 530 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:39,050 Oh, no, no, no. I was scared out of my mind. 531 00:29:39,130 --> 00:29:42,840 For two days, I was living with a golf ball stuck in my throat, 532 00:29:42,930 --> 00:29:44,510 choking back the tears. 533 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,140 It was absolute chaos. 534 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,470 Pouring rain, nobody seemed to care. 535 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,390 And people just kept wandering around. 536 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:54,190 They were dancing completely naked, filthy with the mud. 537 00:29:54,270 --> 00:29:55,480 It was, like, unbelievable. 538 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,150 Were you at Woodstock? 539 00:29:57,230 --> 00:29:59,110 Somewhere upstate. 540 00:29:59,190 --> 00:30:01,820 Plus, somebody stole my Johnny Unitas football. 541 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:04,990 I never wanted to be home so badly. 542 00:30:05,070 --> 00:30:06,870 You guys understand that, right? 543 00:30:06,950 --> 00:30:09,790 Sounds like it was very traumatizing for you. 544 00:30:11,450 --> 00:30:12,870 I don't know. 545 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,500 My brother, he's an insurance appraiser now. 546 00:30:19,340 --> 00:30:21,800 Mostly boats and other watercraft. 547 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,300 This is nice. 548 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:27,510 Fresh air. 549 00:30:28,510 --> 00:30:29,720 Good company. 550 00:30:36,150 --> 00:30:39,480 So, she wants this. Does that look edible to you? 551 00:30:39,570 --> 00:30:42,780 - How you think you did? - Who can tell? 552 00:30:42,860 --> 00:30:45,240 Come on. We just got started! 553 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,030 Man, I pluck my chin hairs. Ain't that upkeep enough? 554 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,290 - I got to run, too? - Mind, body. 555 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,580 You know, I'm just now realizing, 556 00:30:54,670 --> 00:30:57,790 I'm pretty damn happy with both those departments. 557 00:30:57,880 --> 00:30:59,130 I'm walking! 558 00:30:59,210 --> 00:31:00,210 - Come on. - Uh-uh. 559 00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:03,090 To the green house, then we can slow it down. 560 00:31:03,170 --> 00:31:04,220 Let's go! 561 00:31:04,300 --> 00:31:07,890 - Man, if I sweat my hair out... - Come on! Let's go! 562 00:31:07,970 --> 00:31:09,300 Titties flappin' everywhere! 563 00:31:09,390 --> 00:31:10,970 Please tell me that's a margarita. 564 00:31:11,060 --> 00:31:13,020 Yeah. Lemonade. 565 00:31:13,100 --> 00:31:17,190 Made from the finest powdered ingredients the commissary has to offer. 566 00:31:17,270 --> 00:31:18,310 Mmm. 567 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,270 - With the pink sweetener, not the blue. - Nice. 568 00:31:21,940 --> 00:31:23,440 Mmm. 569 00:31:23,530 --> 00:31:24,570 Mmm. 570 00:31:24,650 --> 00:31:25,650 Thank you. 571 00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:29,070 God, I've been laying manure for the last four hours. 572 00:31:29,780 --> 00:31:32,790 The latest rumor is that our new corporate overlords 573 00:31:32,870 --> 00:31:35,710 are gonna be testing genetically modified wheat out here. 574 00:31:36,460 --> 00:31:40,090 See? Who says prison doesn't prepare you for the outside world? 575 00:31:41,290 --> 00:31:43,420 You know, when we get out of here... 576 00:31:43,500 --> 00:31:46,420 I could find electrical work, you could landscape. 577 00:31:46,510 --> 00:31:49,050 We could drive a pickup truck. 578 00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:51,180 We would be living lesbian stereotypes. 579 00:31:51,260 --> 00:31:55,480 We could stop shaving and start camping. 580 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:59,770 We could go to... golf tournaments. 581 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,110 No? No. No golf. 582 00:32:03,190 --> 00:32:04,570 Who's that girl? 583 00:32:04,650 --> 00:32:07,860 - She's not in orange, so she's not new. - Hmm. 584 00:32:07,950 --> 00:32:10,990 I've never seen her before, and then today twice in one day. 585 00:32:11,070 --> 00:32:12,490 It's a prison phenomenon. 586 00:32:12,580 --> 00:32:14,160 It's like when you think you've seen everyone, 587 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,210 you suddenly notice that there's a girl 588 00:32:17,290 --> 00:32:21,040 with a port wine birthmark on her face 589 00:32:21,130 --> 00:32:25,380 that has been working with you in electrical since you got here 590 00:32:25,460 --> 00:32:27,090 and you'd never seen her before. 591 00:32:27,170 --> 00:32:30,220 No, that phenomenon is called self-absorbed. 592 00:32:34,180 --> 00:32:36,220 Seriously, something is up with her. 593 00:32:36,310 --> 00:32:39,770 She's super sketchy, and clearly her Disney Princess is Jasmine. 594 00:32:43,150 --> 00:32:46,650 Look! Look! She just looked at me. 595 00:32:49,650 --> 00:32:53,490 Twice in one day out of nowhere, Piper. It's weird. 596 00:32:53,570 --> 00:32:55,490 And he knows that I'm in here. 597 00:32:58,330 --> 00:33:02,790 So... So, you're saying that Kubra found a girl who was headed to prison, 598 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:07,890 or better yet, convinced someone to get arrested, 599 00:33:07,970 --> 00:33:10,930 charged, sent to prison, 600 00:33:11,010 --> 00:33:16,430 and then manipulated it so that they would be assigned here, 601 00:33:16,510 --> 00:33:19,850 specifically so they could get you? 602 00:33:19,940 --> 00:33:23,400 I'm telling you, he's twisted. 603 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,270 He plays the long game. 604 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,030 He's too smart to send in a girl who looks like she's from Cyprus. 605 00:33:28,110 --> 00:33:33,110 That's a... rookie move. You're a paranoid racist. 606 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:34,530 She probably just thinks you're cute. 607 00:33:35,700 --> 00:33:41,250 But if she tries to hit on you... I will smack a bitch down. 608 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,250 Hmm. 609 00:33:51,590 --> 00:33:56,010 I've heard girls talking about you, saying you can offer help. 610 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,070 I'm in a pretty dark place. 611 00:34:01,730 --> 00:34:03,440 Is this like a guru situation? 612 00:34:06,650 --> 00:34:09,900 I went to see Amma once. The hugging saint. 613 00:34:09,990 --> 00:34:15,160 We waited for three hours to get hugged, but then Seamus said he felt sick. 614 00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:18,990 He said it was from the sun and the chia pudding, 615 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:22,330 but I'm pretty sure he just got impatient. 616 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:24,920 I could've used that hug. 617 00:34:25,910 --> 00:34:28,420 I don't know why I didn't stay. 618 00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:31,380 Yes, I do. 619 00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:34,050 I didn't stay so Seamus and Meadow 620 00:34:34,130 --> 00:34:36,970 could go back to the lake and have sex and do slackline. 621 00:34:37,050 --> 00:34:38,850 So, I missed my hug. 622 00:34:40,890 --> 00:34:44,060 Do those sound like good friends to you? I mean... 623 00:34:45,060 --> 00:34:48,440 why don't I have people in my life who really care about me? 624 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:57,660 Maybe it's me. I've been lazy. 625 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,790 But... there are connections to be made in here, right? 626 00:35:01,870 --> 00:35:05,830 I mean, I see people who care about each other all over this place. 627 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,750 And they were all new once. 628 00:35:09,790 --> 00:35:11,670 Yeah. 629 00:35:11,750 --> 00:35:13,300 That makes sense. 630 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:18,930 Oh. 631 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,850 I get it. This is your thing. 632 00:35:23,930 --> 00:35:28,900 You give people this meaningful stare, and people project their feelings onto it. 633 00:35:33,190 --> 00:35:34,820 It's really soothing. 634 00:35:37,530 --> 00:35:39,490 I feel better. 635 00:35:40,910 --> 00:35:42,200 Thank you. 636 00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,210 Inmates, no touching. 637 00:36:03,060 --> 00:36:04,850 Oh, thanks. Thanks for helping. 638 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,060 Yeah. You steal from someone who's giving it away for free. 639 00:36:08,140 --> 00:36:10,690 That's, like... double negative karma. 640 00:36:10,770 --> 00:36:13,270 Yeah, it is pretty fucked up. 641 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:17,030 You know this isn't gonna be ready for, like, another week or so, right? 642 00:36:17,110 --> 00:36:19,450 - A week? - Yeah. 643 00:36:19,530 --> 00:36:22,200 _ 644 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:23,910 Fuck Rome. 645 00:36:23,990 --> 00:36:26,000 _ 646 00:36:27,750 --> 00:36:29,210 You got any suspects? 647 00:36:29,290 --> 00:36:31,130 You know, it could be Papadakis. 648 00:36:31,210 --> 00:36:33,840 I know a couple of girls got sick off her shit. 649 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,420 Yo, maybe she's trying to steal my secret ingredient! 650 00:36:36,510 --> 00:36:37,760 - Cinnamon! - Watermelon! 651 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,760 No, and no! All right? Fuck you. I ain't telling you. 652 00:36:42,430 --> 00:36:44,510 I think that squirrel's dead. 653 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,020 He's just been laying up in that branch this whole time. 654 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,150 Yo, don't do that, man. 655 00:36:54,230 --> 00:36:57,650 He gonna come down and come for your face and claw your eyes out and shit. 656 00:36:57,740 --> 00:37:00,320 My cousin had a ferret who did that. 657 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:07,370 - That squirrel is not giving one shit. - Maybe he's retarded. 658 00:37:09,210 --> 00:37:10,580 Maybe he's drunk. 659 00:37:10,670 --> 00:37:12,880 What, you saying that little thing is the hooch bandit? 660 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,210 Come on, y'all. 661 00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:18,550 The bags are heavy, they were buried deep. I don't think so. 662 00:37:18,630 --> 00:37:20,010 He's not that little. 663 00:37:20,090 --> 00:37:23,340 Maybe his daddy fucked a raccoon and he's one of those hybrid species. 664 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:25,890 A squacoon. 665 00:37:25,970 --> 00:37:28,970 - His tail is kind of stripey-like. - Thank you. 666 00:37:29,060 --> 00:37:31,440 Squirrels and raccoons can't mate. 667 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,480 All right? They're, like, two totally different species. 668 00:37:35,020 --> 00:37:37,280 Whatever he is, I think he's your problem. 669 00:37:37,790 --> 00:37:39,400 You gotta defend your stash. 670 00:37:39,490 --> 00:37:41,820 On the farm, my daddy used pee and cayenne pepper 671 00:37:41,900 --> 00:37:43,240 to keep the skunks away. 672 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,830 I suppose I should start out by apologizing, 673 00:37:49,910 --> 00:37:54,130 which I've had to do a lot through the years for George. 674 00:37:54,210 --> 00:37:57,130 Although, this one really takes the cake. 675 00:37:58,380 --> 00:38:00,300 I suppose I shouldn't mention cake because you probably... 676 00:38:00,380 --> 00:38:01,970 You can have it. 677 00:38:02,050 --> 00:38:03,090 "It"? 678 00:38:04,220 --> 00:38:05,220 The baby? 679 00:38:05,220 --> 00:38:08,390 I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. It doesn't matter. 680 00:38:08,470 --> 00:38:09,890 Either way, I don't want it. 681 00:38:09,970 --> 00:38:13,850 My mom says you have a real nice house, so he'll have his own room and stuff. 682 00:38:13,940 --> 00:38:15,310 Yes, that's true. 683 00:38:18,650 --> 00:38:19,860 You seem upset. 684 00:38:20,690 --> 00:38:22,400 I'm pregnant in prison, lady. 685 00:38:22,490 --> 00:38:24,950 Were you really expecting for me to be all happy and glowy? 686 00:38:25,030 --> 00:38:30,080 No, no. I just... I thought... I thought we would talk a little bit more. 687 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:33,960 What is there to say? I don't feel anything for this baby. 688 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,380 It's hard to have love for something that's camping out on your bladder. 689 00:38:37,460 --> 00:38:40,510 I remember watching my ass turn into my Aunt Louise's. 690 00:38:40,590 --> 00:38:42,800 It was not a good look. 691 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,590 But, um, I also remember having these really vivid dreams. 692 00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:51,270 None of this is what dreams are made of. It was just a mistake. 693 00:38:51,350 --> 00:38:54,980 So, if you're trying to prove something by taking that on, God bless. 694 00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,980 I am trying to prove something. 695 00:38:59,230 --> 00:39:02,740 I know that's crazy, but I... He was always... 696 00:39:04,740 --> 00:39:08,660 Look, the nurse, when I was checking out of the hospital, 697 00:39:08,740 --> 00:39:10,910 handed me George all wrapped up in a blanket and said, 698 00:39:10,990 --> 00:39:14,410 "You have a difficult child. Good luck." And she was right. 699 00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,250 I should've done more, you know. 700 00:39:16,330 --> 00:39:18,330 I was young and I was in a bad marriage, 701 00:39:18,420 --> 00:39:21,590 and you just realize stuff as time goes on. 702 00:39:21,670 --> 00:39:22,800 So... 703 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,970 Look, he's my kid. 704 00:39:28,050 --> 00:39:33,430 He's my responsibility even now. And I love him, and I will love that baby. 705 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:37,230 And I'm gonna do this right, Miss Diaz. I am committed. 706 00:39:37,850 --> 00:39:40,900 All yours. Are we done here? 707 00:39:40,980 --> 00:39:42,980 Oh, my God, you... You don't even know me. 708 00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:44,150 I mean, I... 709 00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:45,820 I could be some kind of ax murderer 710 00:39:45,900 --> 00:39:49,780 who wants to make coats out of the skins of babies or something. 711 00:39:49,870 --> 00:39:52,910 I watch a lot of true crime TV. 712 00:39:52,990 --> 00:39:57,750 You want the baby, I said yes. Why do you keep on pushing me? 713 00:39:57,830 --> 00:40:00,130 Because I'm afraid you'll change your mind. 714 00:40:00,210 --> 00:40:02,800 I'm afraid that you'll snap out of this depression 715 00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,590 and wonder, "What was I thinking?" 716 00:40:04,670 --> 00:40:08,100 You got a paper? I'll sign it over right now. 717 00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:10,300 You'll get your do-over baby, 718 00:40:10,390 --> 00:40:14,680 and I'll have a chance to start a new life where I just gotta worry about me. 719 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,020 You can't sign the paper until you've had the baby. 720 00:40:18,770 --> 00:40:20,860 Oh, I get it now. 721 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,360 Is there somebody in here that you could talk to? 722 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,950 You know, a professional or something? 723 00:40:29,410 --> 00:40:31,200 My counselor is an old white man 724 00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,160 who tries to connect by saying "Hola" in the hallway. 725 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:39,620 And lucky for you, my mom is all up for the deal. 726 00:40:39,710 --> 00:40:43,290 I talk to her sometimes, mmm, when she's not being a total bitch. 727 00:40:45,710 --> 00:40:46,960 Go team. 728 00:40:48,260 --> 00:40:51,760 Well, I'm gonna come back and visit you again really soon, 729 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,100 and we'll talk some more. 730 00:41:01,100 --> 00:41:03,150 It was very nice to meet you, Dayanara. 731 00:41:08,070 --> 00:41:09,320 Bye. 732 00:41:13,530 --> 00:41:14,740 Check it out. 733 00:41:15,700 --> 00:41:19,330 Oh, yeah! Mama's got a brand new bag! 734 00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:23,540 Uh... 735 00:41:23,630 --> 00:41:25,340 'Course fucking Chapman got it. 736 00:41:25,420 --> 00:41:27,760 Oh! Fuck, yeah! That's me! 737 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,510 ♪ Queen of the new job ♪ 738 00:41:31,220 --> 00:41:33,720 Yes! Ain't nobody's maid no more! 739 00:41:38,350 --> 00:41:40,270 No! Quit that. 740 00:41:40,350 --> 00:41:42,100 How do you know that job's any good anyhow? 741 00:41:42,190 --> 00:41:44,310 Besides, I thought you liked cleaning. 742 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,480 No, but I failed, T! 743 00:41:46,570 --> 00:41:49,360 I should've answered the question in the reverse of how I felt. 744 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,400 The opposite of me is better. 745 00:41:51,490 --> 00:41:54,530 The opposite of you is... boring. 746 00:41:54,620 --> 00:41:59,370 You're obviously too... creative for that job. 747 00:42:01,410 --> 00:42:04,790 You bitches get in? Hmm? 748 00:42:05,460 --> 00:42:06,840 No. 749 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:11,970 Oh, well, we promise not to throw our new high paying jobs in your face too much. 750 00:42:14,220 --> 00:42:17,970 So, that's just business, right? You know, some cutthroat shit. 751 00:42:19,180 --> 00:42:22,440 Oh, anyway. So you think I need a fresh, new first day do? 752 00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:26,730 Yeah! Hook it up! Look hot! Curls! 753 00:42:27,900 --> 00:42:31,490 Get me some little spirals, some curls, you know what I'm saying? Like... 754 00:42:34,610 --> 00:42:36,870 Hey, Gonzales, uh... 755 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:41,040 Congrats. I saw you got in. 756 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:42,440 Seriously? 757 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:44,750 Holy shit. 758 00:42:44,830 --> 00:42:48,670 You know, I was psyching myself out the whole time. 759 00:42:48,750 --> 00:42:51,670 But I guess my smarts must've kicked in anyhow. 760 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,510 So cool. How about you? 761 00:42:53,890 --> 00:42:58,470 Nah. Still stuck in the toilet, so to speak. 762 00:42:58,550 --> 00:43:02,270 - Calgon, take me away. - I'm sorry about that. 763 00:43:02,350 --> 00:43:04,060 But you know, I'm gonna tell everybody I know 764 00:43:04,140 --> 00:43:06,520 to try to pee real neat from now on, okay? 765 00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,440 Make your life a little easier. 766 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:10,610 Thanks for that. 767 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,700 Come on. Get out the way. Hurry up. 768 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,210 Look how close our bunks are. 769 00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:30,460 Now we can share each other's clothes. 770 00:43:31,290 --> 00:43:33,130 They're announcing who got the new job assignment. 771 00:43:33,210 --> 00:43:35,050 - You wanna go see? - Yeah, okay. 772 00:43:36,590 --> 00:43:39,930 You still on the lookout for shanking belly dancers? 773 00:43:41,220 --> 00:43:43,350 To quote Philip K. Dick, 774 00:43:43,430 --> 00:43:47,060 "It's strange how paranoia can link up with reality now and then." 775 00:43:47,140 --> 00:43:51,810 You know, Kubra probably loves me since I lied for him. 776 00:43:52,980 --> 00:43:55,790 Maybe I'm his gal on the inside. 777 00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:59,320 - Ha-ha. - You know what I would use for my shank? 778 00:44:00,950 --> 00:44:02,990 - Your very own toothbrush. - Fuck off. 779 00:44:06,660 --> 00:44:09,000 Seriously, did he reach out to you after the trial? 780 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,750 No, I'm just playing. Or am I? 781 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,340 Quit it, Piper. You're freaking me out. Be straight. 782 00:44:16,420 --> 00:44:19,890 Did you talk to him? You have to tell me! 783 00:44:19,970 --> 00:44:24,140 Wait, like, if you were a drug dealer, hypothetically, 784 00:44:24,220 --> 00:44:27,770 and I was a narc and you're asking me if I was a cop? 785 00:44:27,850 --> 00:44:29,350 21 Jump Street style? 786 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,310 Yeah, exactly like that. 787 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:37,240 I have not been hired to kill you, Alex. 788 00:44:38,700 --> 00:44:40,320 Or psychologically torture me? 789 00:44:40,410 --> 00:44:43,490 Well, not by Kubra's command. 790 00:44:43,580 --> 00:44:46,830 Will you stop making light of this? 791 00:44:46,910 --> 00:44:51,250 There is a very real possibility that he would send someone for me. 792 00:44:51,330 --> 00:44:53,250 Okay, you're right. No, I'm... 793 00:44:54,550 --> 00:44:56,920 I'm done. 794 00:44:57,010 --> 00:44:58,920 Unless, of course, I'm hiding a weapon in my bra. 795 00:44:59,010 --> 00:45:01,260 I think you need to check. 796 00:45:31,790 --> 00:45:35,000 Everything boils down to control with you! 797 00:45:35,090 --> 00:45:39,130 All I'm saying is if you took Howard Street, rather than Maple, 798 00:45:39,210 --> 00:45:41,220 we would save three minutes on the drive. 799 00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:43,140 It's not controlling, it's efficient. 800 00:45:43,220 --> 00:45:45,100 It's three minutes. 801 00:45:45,180 --> 00:45:48,020 And I enjoy the houses on Maple. They're quaint. 802 00:45:48,100 --> 00:45:51,270 The one with the, uh... red painted door and the tire swing? 803 00:45:51,350 --> 00:45:53,730 It makes me think maybe the world's a nice place. 804 00:45:53,810 --> 00:45:56,270 I'll take that thought over three minutes any day. 805 00:45:58,820 --> 00:46:03,360 - My hours got cut. - See, I was right. I knew it. 806 00:46:03,450 --> 00:46:05,950 Smoke and mirrors. Sorry, Ford. 807 00:46:06,030 --> 00:46:08,580 No, mine too. In half. 808 00:46:12,370 --> 00:46:14,120 Sons of bitches. 809 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,710 You think this is just us? Have we been slacking? 810 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:19,670 You let an inmate steal a van and kill another inmate with it. 811 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,050 I mean, that's pretty egregious. 812 00:46:21,130 --> 00:46:24,180 Suck it, O'Neill. I was found to be not at fault for that. 813 00:46:24,260 --> 00:46:27,430 No, this is them. Corporate greed mongers. 814 00:46:27,510 --> 00:46:29,260 So, who's covering the hours we're losing? 815 00:46:29,350 --> 00:46:33,350 More mongers. They multiply like gremlins. 816 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,650 You still think the world's a nice place? 817 00:46:38,150 --> 00:46:40,740 Ooh-hoo. Yeah! 818 00:46:41,610 --> 00:46:42,650 Mmm! 819 00:46:43,530 --> 00:46:46,450 Hey, what you think? Does this say swag? 820 00:46:47,780 --> 00:46:50,120 Great job not rubbing it in our faces. 821 00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,000 Hey, I didn't say that. Watson did. 822 00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:55,580 Yo, did you talk to your girl, Poussey? 823 00:46:55,670 --> 00:46:57,330 She didn't take the test. 824 00:46:57,420 --> 00:46:59,880 No! She too busy fighting off 825 00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:04,170 some imaginary drink-thieving raccquirrel to worry about this shit. 826 00:47:04,260 --> 00:47:07,850 She's outside, pissing in circles, making "traps"! 827 00:47:07,930 --> 00:47:10,100 You need to come clean. 828 00:47:10,180 --> 00:47:13,890 Tell her you took her shit 'fore she really get cracked. 829 00:47:13,980 --> 00:47:15,600 Are her traps humane? 830 00:47:15,690 --> 00:47:18,480 Cartoon style, with a stick and a box. 831 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:22,780 Look, I'd rather see her running around like a fool 832 00:47:22,860 --> 00:47:25,700 - than sleeping and drinking all damn day. - Mmm-hmm. 833 00:47:25,780 --> 00:47:27,410 At least she's up and moving. 834 00:47:27,490 --> 00:47:31,540 Up and moving and giving Looney Tunes here a run for her money. 835 00:47:31,620 --> 00:47:35,580 Well, she's got a goal now. I'll tell her... eventually. 836 00:47:35,670 --> 00:47:37,580 But, uh, don't rush. 837 00:47:37,670 --> 00:47:40,960 Once you know Santa Claus isn't real, it's all downhill from there. 838 00:47:41,050 --> 00:47:42,960 Okay, what the hell Santa Claus got to do with this? 839 00:47:43,050 --> 00:47:45,090 It's good to have something to believe in. 840 00:47:45,170 --> 00:47:48,090 Giant drunky squirrels, Santa. 841 00:47:48,180 --> 00:47:52,390 It's like the tests say, "Ideas are better than reality." 842 00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:53,560 And you agreed with that? 843 00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:56,350 - Mmm-hmm. - Well, no wonder you didn't get the job. 844 00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:01,150 The reality they was talking about was working your ass off for the man. 845 00:48:03,650 --> 00:48:07,110 Your answer basically told the man to fuck off. 846 00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:08,660 No, I didn't mean that. 847 00:48:08,740 --> 00:48:12,280 Wait, so, do you think I should talk to somebody and say... 848 00:48:12,370 --> 00:48:13,790 You know, explain myself? 849 00:48:13,870 --> 00:48:16,040 See, I think that ship has sailed, my dear. 850 00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:19,580 - Mmm-hmm. - Time to go sweep up some pube hives. 851 00:48:19,670 --> 00:48:23,210 I like to think of them more like... pube nests. 852 00:48:23,300 --> 00:48:25,340 Everybody's got fucking opinions! 853 00:48:25,420 --> 00:48:28,680 Well, consolation Snickers on me later, scrub! 854 00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:30,090 Puff out! 855 00:48:32,550 --> 00:48:34,510 No. 856 00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,810 Something is missing in my life. 857 00:48:37,890 --> 00:48:42,610 No matter how much reading and gardening I do, my mind drifts. 858 00:48:43,730 --> 00:48:46,820 - I have this need. - Okay. 859 00:48:46,900 --> 00:48:49,860 An overwhelming need. A drive. 860 00:48:51,070 --> 00:48:52,320 A hunger. 861 00:48:53,700 --> 00:48:55,200 - A hunger? - Yes. 862 00:48:56,330 --> 00:48:59,080 I am missing the heat, you know? 863 00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,080 That flush in my face that only comes from real... 864 00:49:02,170 --> 00:49:03,210 Passion. 865 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,760 Oh, yeah. I understand. 866 00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:11,510 Give me something to be consumed with, Healy. 867 00:49:12,180 --> 00:49:16,930 Sure it leaves me with blisters and burns and an aching back, but it's work, 868 00:49:17,020 --> 00:49:19,980 real work, and I yearn for it. 869 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:24,270 Are you talking about the kitchen? 870 00:49:26,150 --> 00:49:27,780 It is a proven fact 871 00:49:27,860 --> 00:49:31,860 that people in retirement are more likely to get Alzheimer's. 872 00:49:31,950 --> 00:49:33,740 I don't want to become Jimmy, 873 00:49:33,820 --> 00:49:35,830 walking around with my underwear on my head. 874 00:49:35,910 --> 00:49:38,620 I need purpose and stimulation. 875 00:49:38,700 --> 00:49:42,790 Well, Mendoza's doing a fine job in the kitchen. 876 00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,130 We have no reason to replace her. 877 00:49:46,300 --> 00:49:48,420 So you'll have to... 878 00:49:48,510 --> 00:49:50,970 You'll have to look somewhere else for your... 879 00:49:53,590 --> 00:49:56,560 You'll have to find your purpose somewhere else. 880 00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:00,350 I'm sure with this new regime, there will be changes. 881 00:50:00,980 --> 00:50:03,810 Maybe you could slip this one through as well. 882 00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:06,520 Please. Comrade to comrade. 883 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:11,780 Look... Red, this is protocol. 884 00:50:11,860 --> 00:50:14,740 You got busted for those drugs. 885 00:50:14,820 --> 00:50:17,700 There's no way Caputo's signing off on this. 886 00:50:19,240 --> 00:50:23,000 You didn't get to where you are without knowing how to work the system. 887 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,580 I respect the system. 888 00:50:25,670 --> 00:50:27,750 Don't you also respect me? 889 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:31,340 Jesus, Red. 890 00:50:33,970 --> 00:50:35,640 I thought you were different. 891 00:50:40,020 --> 00:50:42,850 I bet a bunch of those girls didn't answer the questions honestly. 892 00:50:42,940 --> 00:50:44,980 I ain't 100% sure I did. 893 00:50:46,150 --> 00:50:48,020 Yeah, it was confusing. 894 00:50:48,110 --> 00:50:52,490 I had to take a test like that one time, when I applied to be an RA. 895 00:50:52,570 --> 00:50:55,450 - What's an RA? - A resident advisor. 896 00:50:55,530 --> 00:50:57,870 Like, for my... dorm in college. 897 00:50:59,330 --> 00:51:03,210 I didn't get that one either. We must be too emotional. 898 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:05,880 And that's bad? 899 00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:09,790 Um... I mean, it doesn't make for a good employee. 900 00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:11,710 Like, I read a horrible article this morning 901 00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:15,300 about this woman getting stoned in Iran for adultery, 902 00:51:15,380 --> 00:51:17,010 and it seriously made me so upset 903 00:51:17,090 --> 00:51:20,350 that I've folded this laundry, like, four times already. 904 00:51:20,890 --> 00:51:24,430 Emotional equals unproductive, I guess. 905 00:51:26,060 --> 00:51:28,980 - I like getting stoned. - Who doesn't? 906 00:51:30,070 --> 00:51:31,440 Yeah. 907 00:51:32,570 --> 00:51:36,860 Getting stoned. Ooh. It's so fun. 908 00:51:40,700 --> 00:51:43,120 So, um... 909 00:51:44,410 --> 00:51:45,540 Walmart. 910 00:51:46,830 --> 00:51:48,830 Uh, how about Walmart? 911 00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:52,050 It's so big. I went there once. 912 00:51:52,130 --> 00:51:56,010 I noticed that there was a lot of... cheap shit in there! 913 00:51:56,090 --> 00:51:59,800 Like, just everything you could ever want. 914 00:51:59,890 --> 00:52:02,970 Someone check the hot dogs out there. I bet they're running low. 915 00:52:03,060 --> 00:52:04,060 I just refilled them. 916 00:52:04,140 --> 00:52:06,770 Well, stay on them. That no carb trend is back. 917 00:52:06,850 --> 00:52:08,940 I'm up to my ears in buns. 918 00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,650 Oh. Look who decided to grace us with her presence. 919 00:52:13,730 --> 00:52:16,240 Throw an apron on, we'll talk punishment later. 920 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,610 I got the job. 921 00:52:18,950 --> 00:52:22,870 It's supposed to start in a few minutes. I just wanted to come let you know. 922 00:52:23,910 --> 00:52:25,080 Come? 923 00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:26,910 How considerate of you... 924 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:30,080 to show your front when you're turning your back on your family. 925 00:52:31,540 --> 00:52:33,590 I earned it, Gloria. You should be proud of me. 926 00:52:33,670 --> 00:52:34,880 Because of that test? 927 00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:36,670 I heard some of the questions on that test. 928 00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:37,920 It's not even about anything. 929 00:52:38,010 --> 00:52:40,550 They were obviously about something, and I got 'em right. 930 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:43,720 Blanca took it, too, and she didn't get picked. 931 00:52:46,350 --> 00:52:50,440 Oh. So now you're better than us? What, you're chosen? 932 00:52:51,770 --> 00:52:56,030 Oh, watch out, Norma, Flaca is moving in on your territory. 933 00:52:58,530 --> 00:53:01,570 That's right, I am better. Better than all you bitches. 934 00:53:02,530 --> 00:53:05,540 Maybe I got C's in high school because my personality is too complex 935 00:53:05,620 --> 00:53:07,830 for mainstream academics. 936 00:53:07,910 --> 00:53:09,580 Some people are born for greatness. 937 00:53:10,540 --> 00:53:13,630 How nice that prison could help you realize your full potential. 938 00:53:13,710 --> 00:53:14,790 Fuck you. 939 00:53:17,380 --> 00:53:19,260 _ 940 00:53:28,130 --> 00:53:29,550 Your budget is $800,000... 941 00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:33,360 _ 942 00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:35,190 _ 943 00:53:35,270 --> 00:53:37,070 _ 944 00:53:38,780 --> 00:53:43,200 Many private islands in the Keys sell for over $10 million. 945 00:53:44,330 --> 00:53:46,540 _ 946 00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:52,040 - Marisol Gonzales? - Yes. 947 00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:53,330 Can I talk to you for a minute? 948 00:54:00,970 --> 00:54:03,720 - You're under arrest. - What are you talking about? 949 00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:04,930 _ 950 00:54:05,010 --> 00:54:06,930 Jason Anders is in critical condition. 951 00:54:07,010 --> 00:54:08,270 You better hope he lives. 952 00:54:08,350 --> 00:54:11,020 I do. He's a nice kid, but... that's not my fault. 953 00:54:11,100 --> 00:54:12,640 You sold him a controlled substance. 954 00:54:12,730 --> 00:54:16,440 I did not! I sold him a piece of paper. 955 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,150 That crazy was all him. 956 00:54:18,230 --> 00:54:23,990 Listen to me, I sold him plain paper with nothing but water and print on it. 957 00:54:24,070 --> 00:54:25,200 It was all fake! 958 00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,030 Yeah, well, his reaction to it was very real. 959 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:28,830 - And it's a crime regardless, so... - No. 960 00:54:28,910 --> 00:54:30,500 _ 961 00:54:30,580 --> 00:54:33,830 _ 962 00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:37,170 Ma'am, your daughter is under arrest for fraud and endangerment. 963 00:54:37,250 --> 00:54:39,300 - It's all in the warrant. - No, this is not real. 964 00:54:39,380 --> 00:54:40,420 - No, this can't be real. - Let's go, Officer. 965 00:54:40,510 --> 00:54:42,470 - I didn't do nothing! No! - Officer, let's go. 966 00:54:42,550 --> 00:54:44,970 No! No! It was paper! 967 00:54:45,050 --> 00:54:47,140 Ma'am, we can talk about it down at the precinct. 968 00:54:48,850 --> 00:54:52,350 Hey, um, I understand the new job assignments were announced and... 969 00:54:52,430 --> 00:54:53,440 Oh, yeah, yeah. 970 00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:56,190 I read over that test. Where did you come up with that? 971 00:54:56,270 --> 00:54:58,980 Oh, I just, uh, pulled that off the Internet. 972 00:54:59,070 --> 00:55:01,570 Some kind of new assessment technique? 973 00:55:01,650 --> 00:55:04,110 Um, it was, like, a... personality quiz or something. 974 00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:05,990 I don't even know. We didn't even read 'em. 975 00:55:06,070 --> 00:55:09,530 Jones just pulled 40 out of a pile randomly 976 00:55:09,620 --> 00:55:11,120 and those were the winners. 977 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,790 That's your system? Random selection? 978 00:55:16,830 --> 00:55:20,300 My system is to make the ladies think that there is a system 979 00:55:20,380 --> 00:55:24,220 so they don't hate us for not getting the job, 980 00:55:24,300 --> 00:55:27,300 they're mad at themselves for not having what it takes. 981 00:55:27,890 --> 00:55:31,720 But you reviewed the files of the women you selected, right? 982 00:55:31,810 --> 00:55:36,060 I mean, made sure there were no risks in that job placement? 983 00:55:36,980 --> 00:55:39,400 We'll have COs on post. 984 00:55:39,970 --> 00:55:43,320 We've had a lot of success with this model. 985 00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:49,030 I have to tell you that our model for not allowing violent criminals 986 00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,240 to work with sharp tools or arsonists in the kitchen 987 00:55:52,330 --> 00:55:53,910 hasn't been so bad either. 988 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:55,870 You're right. 989 00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:58,170 No, I totally get it. You're right. 990 00:55:58,250 --> 00:56:01,250 I think what we'll do is we'll send you the list, 991 00:56:01,340 --> 00:56:02,710 and then if there are any red flags, 992 00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:06,470 you can send those back to us and we'll adjust accordingly. 993 00:56:08,220 --> 00:56:11,470 Good thinking, Caputo. Thanks a lot. 994 00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:13,680 I feel really lucky you're here. 995 00:56:15,310 --> 00:56:17,770 - Great. - Great. 996 00:56:17,850 --> 00:56:18,850 Great. 997 00:56:18,940 --> 00:56:23,230 Congratulations on landing this coveted new job. 998 00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:28,530 This is an opportunity for all of you to learn a very in-demand trade. 999 00:56:28,610 --> 00:56:35,330 And we hope that you will take it as seriously as we did when selecting you. 1000 00:56:36,410 --> 00:56:39,120 Ladies, welcome to Whispers. 1001 00:56:45,670 --> 00:56:47,920 Cool. 1002 00:56:57,020 --> 00:56:58,060 You see that? 1003 00:57:02,770 --> 00:57:04,860 We making panties? 1004 00:57:21,100 --> 00:57:23,100 Synced and corrected by someone who doesn't care about credits